11:38 pm on 1 Feb, 2012
Looking for Destruction
Denny Hazen, a.k.a., Denny Blaze, a.k.a. Blazin' Hazen, a.k.a. The Average Homeboy, was once a wannabe rapper who wasn't from the projects, and, "as you can see, [he's] not black." Some time in the 1980's, the guy made himself this demo tape of his single "The Average Homeboy." Legend has it the tape sat in a box somewhere at MTV Studios for 17 years before somebody found it and uploaded it to YouTube, and, as embarassing failures do these days, it quickly went viral. Denny later uploaded an "official" version of the video on his own channel to cash in on the success he never found in the 80's, and another of his demos, Blazin' Hazen, found its way to the intertubes, as well. But, if you're feeling bad for the mulleted Blaze, don't; his shame has created the career he always hoped for. In addition to millions of views on Average Homeboy (a "smooth" version of the song released in 2009 claims it received 10 million views, though the version currently accessible on his channel sits at 1.5), as well as about another million plus views throughout the rest of his channel, he's currently peddling two full albums of his (c)rap on iTunes under his own label, Blazin Productions, making appearances on VH1's Web junk and Best Week Ever, Tosh.0, and Doogtoons, and apparently playing a live show at the Whiskey A Go Go in Hollywood where tickets are selling at eighteen bucks a pop. Okay, so maybe his career isn't as illustrious as he always dreamed, but he is paying the rent. The moral of the story here: keep telling your kids they can be anything they want when they grow up. Even if they can't do it for themselves, the internet can do it for them.
9:00 am on 12 Dec, 2011
